Courtroom Revelations, Surrogacy, and General Discomfort

Hiya, pallies!  I’m sorry this is late, my only excuse is my continued cold and school; however, there is too much going on in the world for me to whine this week, so instead I will send lots of good thoughts and prayers to those who need them and begin to tell ya what went on in soapland last week.  Our common themes are Courtroom Revelations, Surrogacy, and Generally Being Uncomfortable.

ABC Soaps

All My Children:

Angry at Ryan for not going away, Erin calls Greenlee's place; Kendall answers and Erin tells her Ryan is still alive.  He grabs the phone from her and hears Kendall going off as only Kendall can.  Ryan, being Ryan, pushes to find out what Erin's hiding, and finds Jonathan in a top super secret room.  Jonathan is obviously the worse for the ware and asks for his happy pills.  Ryan tells Erin she is a miracle (they use that phrase a lot on this show) for finding Jonathan.  Jonathan thinks Ryan is Patrick and acts accordingly afraid.   Ryan convinces Erin she can't keep Jonathan that way and stop her own life in the process, but admits he hasn't a clue in hell what they should do to help Jonathan.

Del tells Di off for pretending to be Dixie, and goes to tell Tad.  Tad is furious at Del for simply existing.  Di shows up and tries to make “peace.”  Del begins to tell Tad that Di is not Dixie, but Tad is such a self righteous jerk in the name of Dixie that Del gives up, saying that Tad deserves what he gets. Never one to miss a dramatic cue, Jamie ups and dumps Babe as witnessed by JR and Amanda.  JR realizes that Babe set it up.  Garret gets wicked creepy close to Dani as she sleeps.  Dani confesses that she gets an icky vibe from Garret to Simone, who gets the whacked out idea to confide in Greenlee.  Greenlee takes an ignorant pill and gives Dani the supremely bad advice of confronting Garret.

Erica confronts Greenlee about her not being miserable, and confronts Greg about whatever it is he may be doing with Greenlee; Greg tells Erica that Greenlee is participating in a fertility study.  Zach follows Kendall and surmises that she is helping Greenlee bring another evil Lavery spawn into the world, but she tells him that it isn’t going to happen.  Julia finds out her supposed trustworthy comrade Jimmy is the one that killed Noah; he tries to kill Julia but Zach saves her.  Kendall goes to Derek and Mimi and tells them that Julia is at Wildwind, but not to let anyone know she ratted Julia out.  After she witnesses a cutesy moment between Sam and Lily, Julia is finally ready to listen to Zach about not staying at Wildwind, seconds later, a blast is heard and a ruckus shown. 

General Hospital:

Well, what didn't happen in PC last week? Em walks away from Nik, Jax walks away from Courtney, Em walks away from Courtney, Jax makes us sit there and take it while he punches Nik, and Courtney goes on a blame rampage.  Nikolas shuts her up with his mouth and Lucky catches them and calls them on it.  Liz, in the best interest of the baby, decides they all need to talk things out (and then you woke up, Liz). While the meeting is going to hell, Liz begins to have severe cramping and ends up in the hospital, where all parties continue to bicker only more quietly.

Eventually, Em and Nik go stand out in the rain and decide to make up.  Courtney watches and then she and Nik stand longer in the rain after Em leaves and talk more circles.  She goes back to her penthouse and thinks about Nik as Jax tells Lucky and Liz he is going to give Courtney a second chance; Lucky thinks it is solely because Liz won't give the baby to Jax by himself, but when Jax remarks on how unique he and Liz's relationship is, Lucky tells him it’s simple - they love each other. 

Carly, trying a little too hard, is refused a picnic she wanted with Michael and Morgan, as Michael is afraid her behavior will scare Morgan.  She leaves and goes to tell off the rest of Port Charles.  Reese asks Sonny for a second chance and cries again.  Sonny ignores her.  After telling Carly to calm down and reassuring her the boys love her, Sonny and Michael have a talk about forgiveness.  For some reason known only to him and the writers, Sonny decides out of all the people he needs to forgive, Reese tops the list.

The Jason continues to have odd physical symptoms, and after passing out he wakes up and does not remember Sam.  He doesn't remember who he is or know why he knows things like how to hotwire cars.  Sam hesitates to tell him what he does, saying only that it's “complicated.”  After The Jason has to kill two people that are trying to hurt him, he figures out that that is what his work is.  Allegra sends people to collect Sam again, forcing us back into the ballroom dancing storyline as Allegra orders Sam to impersonate Allie yet again.

Crazy Carly spies on Reese and Sonny in the penthouse as they have sex.  When Reese and Sonny leave, Carly takes a perfectly good tube of Revlon and ruins it by writing

“W H O R E” on the mirror.  Then she takes a pair of scissors and stabs a poor, innocent pillow, whose only crime was to be taken into that penthouse, and spreads feathers throughout the living room.  Then she knocks the contents of a desk onto the floor and picks up Reese's gun.

When Reese returns to Sonny's penthouse, she sees the damage Carly did and calls Sonny, apparently forgetting that she was an FBI agent and does not need a man to save her from anything.  Sonny is on the phone with Reese and turns to see Carly holding a gun on him.  Carly cries and Sonny tries to talk her down, as Reese hears gunshots and viewers roll their eyes.

One Life to Live:

Starr has a scary dream about the threat that is Margaret and when she goes to find Todd, she walks right into Margaret in her elevator lair.  Todd tries to get Blair to think that Starr imagined it, but Starr tries to warn her Mom that Margaret was real and is close by.  Todd tries to get Asa to tell him where Margaret is, but Asa plays dumb.  Meanwhile, Blair goes to Bo warning him about Margaret, and Bo goes after Asa for info.

Kelly tells Kevin she wants only him and not Spencer.  Dorian thinks Spencer would be better for Kelly than Kevin and David assures her that is not so.  When she sees Nash, Jessica weakens and Tess takes over.  Tess tells him she didn’t mean to leave him.  They profess love to each other and go all kissyface.  Antonio realizes something is amiss and worries about Jessica’s whereabouts, unaware that she is preparing to leave Pennsylvania with Nash the Stringy Haired.  Natalie and John also go all kissyface.  Numerous people advise them about becoming involved, and Natalie tells John about the dream she had about him and Evangeline.  There is much hoopla and dances of joy upon Natalie’s return from the hands of the psycho.

CBS Soaps

As the World Turns:

Gwen confronts Tom and Margo about Casey being the father of her baby, while Casey insults her.  After Gwen leaves, Tom and Margo go off on him while Casey looks like he'd rather be playing video games.  Once Casey tells Margo he's not the father, she believes him, but Tom does not seem to; he promises to stand behind his son anyway.

Sierra tells Lily how Lucinda is coping with the cancer emotionally speaking, and Lily tells her to see it as a good thing.  Lucinda gets advice from Bev on a clinic to go for alternative treatment, saying that they helped her when she was cancer stricken.  Lucinda tells Sierra and Lily she wants to try the treatment but seeing their hesitancy, promises she will stick to the chemo; after they leave, she calls the clinic.  Lily catches Lucinda before she left, and again Lucinda promises to return to the chemo if the new treatment doesn’t work. 

Iris harangues Carly about her being a bad mother after what she did to her “buoy,” and Carly has a disjointed memory of Iris in a long haired wig yelling at a little blond girl about watching her “buoy.”  Iris then says she wants money for shoes for her kids, and Carly, evidently two jacks short of a full deck, believes her and gives her the money.  Will walks in on them, and Iris engages him in their conversation.  He reports to Gwen that whoever this woman is, she's got Carly going freaky deaky.  Margo tells Carly that Casey’s not the baby’s father, as Casey goes to Will and asks him to say that he is the father.

Emily tells Paul he can’t keep the truth about the baby from Jennifer.  When Paul and Emily come upon Jennifer, she is high on crystal meth.  Jennifer hides her drugs from Emily.  Dusty asks Jennifer what her deal is, having noticed that she’s high.  Carly arrives at her place to find Gwen with an order saying that she is permitted to spend time with the baby.  They struggle, and when Jack arrives Carly (I really don’t like her) insists that Gwen was trying to kidnap the baby.  My man Cass shows up and tells Carly that even if Casey is not the baby’s father, they still have a case and that he may have to bring up her past in court, should it come to that.  As Tom pressures him for the truth, Casey continues to lie his ass off about sleeping with Gwen. 

The Bold and the Beautiful:

So if Bridget has her baby, will the baby be her own aunt, since the baby’s grandmother may also someday be its stepmother?   Will Hope be the baby's aunt, the baby’s sister, and the baby's cousin?  I continue to be confused.  Dante and Bridget came up with a plan for her to test Nick's love, since direct communication is too much for these people to handle: she tells him she aborted the baby.  Her plan backfires on her when she sees how her announcement has hurt Nick, who walks away from her.

Dante prevents her from going after him, and the two confide in Katherine, asking her to spy for them.  After momentarily telling Bridget that Nick and Brooke would never hurt her that way, she agrees to spy.  Nick destroys everything made of glass in his boat, and when Brooke calls, she worries and invites him over.  When Nick goes to Brooke and tells her what Bridget did (except she didn't), Brooke cries that she and Nick are responsible for this.  Katherine walks in and sees them in a clinch, Nick apparently trying to cop a feel; she hears Nick say that he loves Bridget. 

Bridget considers that she made a mistake in testing Nick in this manner, because it is always good for love to be based on lies and deceit.  Brooke goes after Nick, fearing that he is too despondent to consider carefully enough under what conditions he is sailing.  Nick is prevented from sailing by those whose job it is to do so.  He gets angry at Brooke when she confesses how much she loves him.  This is quite a messy and icky triangle, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, Taylor tests Ridge to see how he feels about Brooke, because the whole entire world is in love with Brooke, dontcha know.  When he says something about Brooke being special, Taylor tells him that they are over unless they get counseling, which Ridge rigidly refuses.  Dante assues Bridget that things will be OK.   Bridget feels too guilty, and decides to confess all to Nick. 

Guiding Light:

For reasons that escape me, Alan and Beth get married.  Can someone enlighten me? 

When Dizzy Lizzie finds out her mama actually married her grandpa, she is quite scheeved.  Rick and Alan have words over Philip’s “exhumation” and Rick is surprised to find out about the happy couple.  Lizzie uses her mom’s guilt to get money. 

Speaking of weddings, Cassie sings at Harley and Gus’ wedding.  Edmund is kind to pregnant Michele but no alarm bells go off in her head.  He gives her a place to stay; after he discusses baby buying with Vince.  Cassie realizes Edmund is lying about the farm.  Dinah blames her obvious drunkenness on her “pregnancy,”then hits Mr. Mallet’s car in the lot.  Michele decides she doesn’t want to take Edmund up on his offer, but he talks her into it again.  He attempts to give her a drug to induce labor while she is sleeping. 

Other stuff:  Reva tries and fails to seduce Josh.  She leaves after they fight and falls down an elevator shaft, but she’s OK because she’s Reva and therefore indestructible.  While at the ER, Josh assures Reva that he is not walking away from her, but wants time to himself.  Maybe not the best place to tell her, Josh… 

The Young and the Restless:

Sharon goes to Nikki and Victor when she can’t find Nick.  Victor is worried about Nikki because she is experiencing tremors, but Nikki tells him she’s OK.  Later she has a nightmare about the mob kidnapping her and then has an anxiety attack when Victor comforts her. 

Christine reports that the judge is away unexpectedly.  Nick and Phyllis fight over Daniel, and Phyllis leaves after Sharon shows up.  She questions Nick but he won’t tell her anything.  After a while he admits out loud and to himself that Cassie was not perfect, but he still blames Daniel.  Lily tells Neil she wants to be there when the verdict is read but Neil tells her he forbids it.  When the judge gets back, Christine asks for more time because Victor was able to rush the trial, and the judge graciously gives her just fifteen minutes, which can either be five minutes in soap time, or two hours. 

The judge announces that he is finding Daniel guilty.  Victor goes to the courthouse, where he only makes it worse for Daniel.  Phyllis asks if she can speak on behalf of Daniel before the sentencing begins but the judge says no.  Nick reconsiders his anger at Daniel when he hears Cassie telling him not to put the blame on him.  He and Sharon go to tell the judge that he has been withholding evidence, and the heel found was not Cassie’s, but belonged to a friend of hers.  The judge changes the verdict to Not Guilty. 

NBC Soaps

Days of Our Lives:

Caroline stops John and Roman from arguing over Marwena and Dr. North.  Marwena tells Alex she remembers wuvving him.  Sami worries that Lucas will find out that she is “Stan.”  If she was going to be a guy, why didn’t she just use the name Sam?  Tony tells Sami that if she doesn’t help him escape, he will tell Kate the truth about Stan. 

Patrick points out that Billie and Chelsea have the same “rare” blood type.  Did you know that AB negative is the rarest blood type?  I think.  When I worked in the component lab at the Red Cross it was the one we had the least of.  So while Billie goes off to find info, the skanky Chelsea throws herself at Patrick, who, being a man, does not resist.  Tony tells Billie that skanky Chelsea is her daughter, but Billie thinks he could be lying.  Wait, wasn’t Tony killed a couple of times?  Bo and Hope find skanky Chelsea and Patrick being kissyface and Bo physically removes Patrick from her while Hope attempts to play nice, wise, older adult with skanky Chelsea, who walks away. 

Billie tells Bo who Chelsea might really be.  Abby reads Chelsea the rules when the little ho complains about Billie, reminding her what Billie has done for her.  Bo and Billie ask Lexie to help them with DNA so they can figure out the truth about Chelsea.  Jack forces Frankie to fill in for him in various different ways by dancing with Jennifer.  When Hope gets annoyed at Bo for not telling her he was with Billie at the hospital, he announces the reason they are there.  And yes, Chelsea is officially Georgia.  They tell Hope not to tell anyone, but she thinks that means she can tell Patrick, and she does. 

Passions:

Fancy asks a detective to find Noah for her.  Noah is playing pool, pretending he’s Paul Newman, but when Fancy shows up he turns into Jerry Lewis, at least, on the inside.  Fancy offers to pay his debt for him, but she and Noah are, giggle, forced to clean the bathrooms instead to pay off the debt!  Theresa tries to talk Whitney out of joining a convent (stop laughing –oh, OK let’s all laugh together).  Whitney then gives the Mother Superior heartburn and a migraine when she talks about having slept with her brother.  Ewwwwww!  For real, for real? 

Jessica, going to the clean life, gets bored and annoyed at her parents, and asks Spike to let her turn tricks again.  Boy, would Dr. Phil have fun with this.  Eve drops Julian for TC.  Sheridan finds out that Mark’s father may be alive and gets upset.  How dare he be alive and possibly want his son!  What about Sheridan’s needs?  Then she finds that Chris, the journalist that has been probing her for info on her life, is Mark’s father.  She asks for him to prove it. 

Soap Net Soaps

Another World:

Stacey, whose hair looked terrific, stood up to Judge Granddad Huxtable on Derek's behalf, and the judge finally allowed bail for 10G's, which was provided seconds later by my Lucas in the form of a cashier's check.  Damn, Lucas, how about a little love for Evie?  Lucas then eavesdrops while an ungrateful Stacy tells Derek she doesn't trust Lucas, and they figure out that Caroline must know something about the Red Swan. 

They sneak into the gallery, Stacey forgetting she’s an officer of the court, and figure out that Caroline had the Red Swan after it was initially stolen.  Caroline realizes someone has been investigating her and calls Michael.  Donna presses Vicky about Evan after telling her that he and Jamie will be at Sharlene and John's engagement party.  Vicky shares that the fact that he's Jamie's cousin and works for Cory doesn't hurt things.  Meanwhile, as if he had any right to, Jamie tells Evan to stay away from Vicky.  Oh, and Amanda.  

Bratty Josie finally grows up as she realizes she needs to stop running away from Sharlene; she cancels the trip with Russ and tells a delighted and presumably blind Sharlene she's moving back in to the Frame Farm.  Russ tells Sharlene he wishes he had treated her better the first time around, and they hug, and then we all cry.  Matt persuades Olivia not to let her Dad leave without saying goodbye.  During their goodbye, Olivia expresses dismay about her newfound sister and upset that Russ is leaving her again.  Russ leaves, wahh hahh hahh!

At the party, Donna and Jamie make awkward conversation when he is the first to arrive.  Then Jamie pretends not to be jealous when Vicky arrives with Evan.  Steam comes out of Jamie’s ears all night.  Because Donna has a tendency to run at the mouth, she tells Lucas she’s seen his name on some of Michael’s work related papers.  Iris tells Sharlene that Josie can make it as a model.  Let’s hope so, cause her personality, you know…When Iris introduces Sharlene to Lucas, she flips and asks John if they can leave.  Later, Lucas calls her and she hangs up.

Donna tells Jake she will help him with his business if he promises to stay away from Vicky.  When Vicky gets home from the party, she’s kinda sad, but then Jamie shows up with Steven and confuses us all.  Frankie finds a letter for Cass from Psycho Nicole, and at first hides it, then feels guilty and gives it to him.  Frankie warns her cousin Josie to be careful about Lucas and his involvement in Sophisticate, for which she will be the first cover girl.

Ryan’s Hope:

Special continued ongoing appreciative thanks with many hugs to my girls Kim and Dorrie for helping me figure out what happened at Ryan’s!  And apologies for my confusion before.  Hey Johnny, get me a vodka cranberry, would ya? 

Siobhan and Joe discuss how they’d like to jump each other’s bones.  Delia, like our friend Donna above, uses her tendency to run at the mouth and lets Joe know how much Siobhan has been speaking of him.  Jack tells Siobhan she shouldn’t be so quick to reject Joe.  Siobhan accepts an invitation to go fishing with Joe, not knowing she committed to a three day trip

Adam and Nancy run into each other at the deli and bond, talking about their childhoods.  The next day, Pat and Nancy fight and Pat is upset that Nancy doesn’t want to marry him.  Delia encourages Adam to go after Nancy.  Delia gets Beryl to invite her, Roger, and Adam to dinner.  Nancy wants Pat to come too.  Beryl objects, they bicker, Beryl relents.  

Seneca finds Jill with Frank at Edmund’s grave.  Seneca and his control issues tell Jill that she cannot be without him, that she is nothing without him.  Jill tells him that she wants a divorce.  After she confides in Faith, Jill gets a transfer to San Francisco and Seneca again tells her that he will not give her a divorce. 

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